A Good Plunger is Hard to Find

“Somethin ain’t right here,” said Carl, standing over the empty hole in the bathroom. “Uh, Ma’am, ya said ya needed a plumber, but I got some news for ya… Ya don’t got no toilet.” “Ma’am?” Carl yelled, a bit louder than before. He stepped backward…


THE SHE DOME: Ode to a B-Train Biddy

The girl “clubbed” hard. I could tell just by looking at her. She was wearing a teal tube dress and Claire’s jewelry on a Thursday at 7pm in Midtown. Her unadulterated excitement to get out there and grind on some middle-aged man meat showed on…


Music Monday: King Tuff

King Tuff is charisma incarnate . Looking, sounding, and playing like an absolute wild man, Kyle Thomas; the king we speak of, has returned with an album truly marking him as a bad, bad thing. The scope of this record has matured slightly from his…


“So You Have A Weird Name…”

I’m a 90’s kid. I dealt with the break-up of Cory and Topanga. I dealt with waiting twenty minutes for America Online’s dial-up to complete so that I could read email. I dealt with the fact that my Furby was probably a cold blooded killer….


Two Poems

Stages Springtime Please come save us. Misery of winter. Frozen are my hands, lips, and soul. Melt me. A Chair is Still a Chair Sit, I’ve So much To give. Rest. Calm. Life is too Short for Standing, Waiting for Next times. Grab a cup…


IN YOUR EARS: Unknown Mortal Orchestra

Unknown Mortal Orchestra is like a great white shark without the insecurities or power trips of other lo-fi bands. Swimming through the scene, with absolute awareness of their skill, yet without an attitude about it. Dipping into the 60’s like so many bands out there today (see…

Fully Retractable by M. Lyons


Living in New York City, I’ve discovered that there are only three ways to get good Mexican food here: 1. Not at all 2. Settle for some crappy, half-assed imitations 3. Dig through miles and miles of said crappy imitations to find the rare jewels…


Exclusive Interview: Mike D’Antonio of Killswitch Engage & Death Ray Vision

Photos by Bruce Bettis & Jeremy Saffer 2013 is shaping up to be a very busy year for Mike D’Antonio. His band Killswitch Engage, having reunited with original vocalist Jesse Leach, is set to release possibly the most highly anticipated record of their career, Disarm…


Lies Disney Movies Have Taught Us

The title. I know you’re reading and thinking, “J’na, you mean to tell me that you think that Disney taught us lies growing up? I bite my thumb at you! Boo! Hiss! ” Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE Disney more than a normal person…


In Your Ears: Ty Segall

Ty Segall is the hardest working man in garage rock. With 13 LP’s and an even longer list of compilations, EP’s, splits, and recording credits, this man gets around. You can hear it in his newest solo endeavor, Twins. He deliberately melds piercing guitar solos and distorted barriers of…